"The Devil" Chronicles: The Big “Life Insurance” Debacle!!!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Big “Life Insurance” Debacle!!!

My husband's unfortunate marriage to THE DEVIL ended with their bifurcation on 4/29/05, and almost immediately he removed it as the beneficiary of his life insurance policy and changed it to me.

I don’t know how long it took before THE DEVIL found out about this switch, but the "shit hit the fan" about a year later. Here's the fallout, in all its blazing glory! Enjoy!

THE DEVIL’s 7/19/06 email: “...it became crystal clear who was more important … it became aparent [sic] when you chose to take your own flesh and blood off your life insurance policy to make her [me] sole beneficiary”

My Husband's 7/31/06 response: “Let me get this straight: are you actually suggesting that you are my “flesh and blood”?! On the chance that you’re at all confused about our relationship, allow me to enlighten you: No, we’re not…nor have we ever been blood related…that’s not only illegal, it would be disgusting. Regardless, the children were never listed as beneficiaries on my life insurance policy: I removed you, not them, as you’re no longer a part of my family. MY LOVE and I have a firm plan in place to care for my children in the event of my untimely death…and beyond that it’s really none of your business. And keep in mind I’ve never asked you who your beneficiary is on your life insurance policy as it’s none of my business, is it?”

Apparently, THE DEVIL didn’t like his answer.

THE DEVIL’s 7/3/07 email (written to her attorney and cc'd to my husband, with this section directed to him): “TOKEN MALE YOU ARE THE MOST SPITEFUL SELFISH VINDICTIVE PERSON I HAVE EVER MET! ... JUST LIKE YOUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICY MY LOVE HAD YOU TAKE THE CHILDREN OFF OF! DON'T YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TAKEN CARE OF IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU! MOST COURTS REQUIRE A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY BUT WE NEVER GOT THAT FAR!”

My husband's 7/3/07 response (copied to THE DEVIL’s attorney):

“’TOKEN MALE YOU ARE THE MOST SPITEFUL SELFISH VINDICTIVE PERSON I HAVE EVER MET! THESE ARE YOUR CHILDREN.’
How pathetic. What a childish attempt to provoke me. …

‘JUST LIKE YOUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICY MY LOVE HAD YOU TAKE THE CHILDREN OFF OF! DON'T YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TAKEN CARE OF IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU!’
What complete and utter B/S. The children were never listed as beneficiaries on my life insurance policy: I removed you, not them. YOU ARE NO LONGER MY WIFE!

MY LOVE and I have a firm plan in place to care for my children in the event of my untimely death…and beyond that it’s really none of your business. And keep in mind that I’ve never asked you who your beneficiary is on your life insurance policy because it’s none of my business, is it?

So would I be correct in assuming that I am your sole beneficiary on your life insurance policy? And if I’m not, should I also jump to the conclusion that it is the intention of whoever is your beneficiary to keep all of the money they would receive for themselves and not provide for our children? Because that’s certainly your way of thinking. Maybe this will ease your mind: just because you would behave a certain way in this situation doesn’t mean everyone would behave just as badly as you.

Either way, our children will be well cared for with or without my life insurance as they’d receive a substantial amount in survivor’s benefits from Social Security each month until they turn 18, get married or graduate from high school, whichever comes first. That’s the law.

‘MOST COURTS REQUIRE A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY BUT WE NEVER GOT THAT FAR!'
This makes no sense. I have a life insurance policy…you’re just not the beneficiary. And no court would ever force someone to make their ex their beneficiary. That would be absurd! (Think of all the psychos who’d have their exes killed for their life insurance money!)”

THE DEVIL’s 7/5/07 email: “The problem is, you allow your spouse [funny...it couldn’t even bring itself to refer to me as his “wife”] who has HUGE ISSUES with me, to MICRO-MANAGE our divorce and decisions within. You cannot make decisions on your own, and the decisions you have made i.e. LIFE INSURANCE are a prime example of how you have allowed her influence to potentially harm your very own? I don't see how ANY parent could allow themselves to be convinced of this. In fact, if heard in court it would not have happened.”

My husband's 7/5/07 response: “Wait a minute…'micro-manage our divorce'? What divorce? We are divorced! We’ve been divorced since April 2005! ... It’s regrettable that, for whatever reason, you continue to feel threatened or intimidated by my wife, but that’s your problem, not ours. I am fully capable of making my own decisions. However, THE DEVIL, for the first time in my life I’m in a true partnership. My wife doesn’t dictate to me, and I don’t dictate to her. I know this is a difficult concept for you to digest, but, yes, these types of relationships truly do exist.”

We haven’t heard a peep out of that bitch concerning my husband's life insurance policy since its July 2007 rant. Maybe, after reading through their email exchanges, its attorney finally told it to shut the fuck up!

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Histronic Personality Disorder

My new understanding of Histrionic Personality Disorder serves to confirm that THE DEVIL reacts and communicates the news of one“horrific event” after another as it does in order to draw attention to itself and garner sympathy from its listeners.

......................oOo

THE DEVIL's Psychological Report, 10/20/03, Psychopathology, p. 14: “One of the major dimensions was elevated to the level of a personality disorder (Dependent) and another one (Histrionic) was at a level of a personality trait. Women with this combination of features have a cooperative personality style with dramatic traits, but their most prominent trait is low self-esteem. Their belief that they are less gifted or worthy than others leads to a poor self-image that causes feelings of insecurity and anxiety, especially in competitive situations. As these women have fairly high needs for attention they tend to be conspicuous and need fairly constant affirmation through approval and affection. In order to obtain affection, these women may come across as charming, outgoing, dramatic, or even seductive, most of the time, these women will present as cooperative, congenial, colorful, and in touch with their emotions, but they have a difficult time in situations where they feel alone or have to depend on themselves.”

histrionics [his-tree-on-iks]–noun (used with a singular or plural verb) 1. dramatic representation; theatricals; acting. 2. behavior or speech for effect, as insincere or exaggerated expression of an emotion; dramatics; operatics: “Cut out the histrionics—we know you're not really mad.”

histrionic personality disorder–a need to be the center of attention, always using ones appearance to draw attention, and a shallow expression of emotions.

What the Hell?!

Right about now, you're probably wondering, "What the...?"

While I've changed the names (not necessarily to "protect the innocent") and locations, I've posted a chronology of my stepchildren's mother (a.k.a. THE DEVIL) who is not only mean, but stupid--which is better than mean and smart.

Add to that several diagnosed personality disorders (borderline, histrionic, dependent, compulsive, and narcisistic, to name a few), and it is almost pure evil with no redeeming qualities.

And after dealing with its nastiness non-stop for the last 6+ years, I decided to upload its antics here for all the World to see as my way of venting without driving my friends and family crazy.

Besides, this is the only way that I can thumb my nose at that dumb bitch, so let me have my fun! :)

THE DEVIL's Court Order Violations

· THE DEVIL violated our 4/7/03 and 4/29/05 court orders from 5/23/03 to 9/29/05 (see entries) by refusing to refinance its Honda CR-V as stipulated at our April 7, 2003, Order After Hearing: “5. Remove Respondent’s name from any loan or mortgage within 45 days from this date.” Regardless, it did not.

· THE DEVIL was in contempt of our 12/5/02 court order from 10/12/03 to 2/7/06 (see entries) by refusing to provide our children’s transportation as the receiving parent as stipulated at our December 5, 2002, Ex Parté hearing. Stipulation & Order on Order to Show Cause, Temporary Order Pending Trial or Further Order of the Court; dated 12/5/02, filed 12/6/02; MEDIATOR’s report dated 1/27/03. “8. Parties to share equally all transportation for exchanges. Receiving parent to provide transportation.”

· THE DEVIL violated our 7/23/03 court order on 9/16/03 for 2 weeks (see entry) by refusing to give me – of all things – my bicycle – seriously – as stipulated at our July 23, 2003, Order After Hearing: “5. Respondent is awarded his bicycle and shall be permitted to pick up the bicycle from the former family residence the weekend of June 7 or as such other date as the parties are able to agree upon.”

· THE DEVIL has been in violation of our 12/5/02 court order by verbally assaulting me or speaking to me in a derogatory manner in front of our children on many, many occasions (6/23/03, 12/26/04, 12/31/04, 3/30/05, 9/20/05 and 2/7/06; see entries [there are many more incidents, I just haven't added them yet]). Order After Hearing, dated April 7, 2003, “Custody and Visitation; Separation Date: 8/2002, E. Parents shall not say or do anything in presence of children against other parent.”

· THE DEVIL was in violation of our 4/7/03 court order by refusing to reimburse me for half the cost of private mediation as stipulated at our December 5, 2002, Ex Parté hearing. Stipulation & Order on Order to Show Cause, Temporary Order Pending Trial or Further Order of the Court; dated 12/5/02, filed 12/6/02; MEDIATOR’s report dated 1/27/03: “Petitioner shall reimburse Respondent for its one-half share of the cost of private mediation [$300 total], the amount of which is $150.”

.....THE DEVIL's debts to me were forgiven at our 12/13/05 Settlement Conference, as cited in our Stipulation for Entry of Judgment on Reserved Issues, dated December 13, 2005, but not filed to date: “25. … In entering into this stipulation, each party waives any and all rights he or she may otherwise have to seek or receive any claims for credits, reimbursements, overpayments, underpayments, or any other such item as currently exists between the parties, including … Respondent’s claim for further contribution from THE DEVIL toward the cost of the custody evaluation, or mediation and appraisal fees, and all such other similar items.”

· THE DEVIL was in violation of our 4/7/03 court order by refusing to reimburse me for half the cost of the appraisal on our family home as stipulated at our December 5, 2002, Ex Parté hearing. Stipulation & Order on Order to Show Cause, Temporary Order Pending Trial or Further Order of the Court; dated 12/5/02, filed 12/6/02; MEDIATOR’s report dated 1/27/03: “Petitioner shall reimburse Respondent for its one-half share of the cost of the appraisal obtain on the family home [$450/2=$225].”

.....THE DEVIL's debts to me were forgiven at our 12/13/05 Settlement Conference, as cited in our Stipulation for Entry of Judgment on Reserved Issues, dated December 13, 2005, but not filed to date: “25. … In entering into this stipulation, each party waives any and all rights he or she may otherwise have to seek or receive any claims for credits, reimbursements, overpayments, underpayments, or any other such item as currently exists between the parties, including … Respondent’s claim for further contribution from THE DEVIL toward the cost of the custody evaluation, or mediation and appraisal fees, and all such other similar items.”

· THE DEVIL was in contempt of our 12/5/02 court order from 8/18/03 to 4/29/05 (see entries) by refusing to reimburse me for half the cost of our child custody evaluation as stipulated at our December 5, 2002, Ex Parté hearing. Stipulation & Order on Order to Show Cause, Temporary Order Pending Trial or Further Order of the Court; dated 12/5/02, filed 12/6/02; MEDIATOR’s report dated 1/27/03: "The parties will participate in a child custody evaluation to be conducted by THE PSYCHIATRIST. The parties shall pay the cost of the evaluation [$4,000/2=$2,000] in equal shares..."

.....THE DEVIL's debts to me were forgiven at our 12/13/05 Settlement Conference, as cited in our Stipulation for Entry of Judgment on Reserved Issues, dated December 13, 2005, but not filed to date: “25. … In entering into this stipulation, each party waives any and all rights he or she may otherwise have to seek or receive any claims for credits, reimbursements, overpayments, underpayments, or any other such item as currently exists between the parties, including … Respondent’s claim for further contribution from THE DEVIL toward the cost of the custody evaluation, or mediation and appraisal fees, and all such other similar items.”

· THE DEVIL was in violation of our 4/7/03 court order by keeping the children from me on all 2003 and 2004 holidays despite our April 7, 2003, Order After Hearing: “Parties shall share holidays with the children in a manner to be coordinated between them; the court’s jurisdiction is reserved to resolve any disputes that may arise.”

Disclaimer

I know, I know...as you're reading through all of this, you're dumbfounded. You're shaking your head and wondering how my husband got myself in to this mess in the first place. And you're asking yourself, "Why didn't he just walk away right from the get-go," right?

I know, because I've asked myself those questions many, many times. So has he. And it's taken us a while to find the answers.

But you need to know that in the beginning he was infallible. He was THE DEVIL's rescuer. It had been "abused" and "misunderstood" by every man who came before him, and he - and only he – could understand it. The only one who could protect it. And he would make it whole by making up for the past hurts that all of the others had inflicted upon it. He was its hero. He was it’s everything.

That’s some pretty heady stuff when you're immersed in it. It's also addictive. It feels really good to be someone's everything. And when you're King of the World, you are so pumped up that its easy to overlook the little things that just don't add up. And the next thing you know...blammo!

It's all part of your indoctrination: pump you up and then squash you. Like a cult recruiting new members, you're subjected to stress and fatigue; social disruption, isolation and pressure; criticism and humiliation; fear, anxiety, and paranoia; control of information; and escalating commitment.

So maybe you might understand how it came to be that an incredibly handsome, healthy, well-adjusted, intelligent guy got sucked in to a vortex of insanity...and then married it!

It took me a while, and a lot of research on subjects like Borderline Personality Disorder, to start to understand it myself, but I think that now I do.

So enjoy. There's some pretty good stuff in here. His tolerance level will astound you!

"The Devil" Chronicles

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Big “Life Insurance” Debacle!!!

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