Monday, May 11, 2009
Our Son's Rash!!! (1/06)
Saturday, 1/14/06. THE DEVIL noticed a quarter-sized dry patch on one of OUR SON’s cheeks to which it applied a lotion that was not hypoallergenic or noncomedogenic.
Sunday, 1/15/06. THE DEVIL called me first on my cell phone and then on my Our Town home phone this evening. We’d already returned from Squaw Valley, and I answered our home phone. THE DEVIL was calling to inform me that OUR SON had a rash, that he was probably contagious (he wasn’t), that it was (unnecessarily) keeping him home from daycare tomorrow, and that it was my responsibility to take him to urgent care in the morning as the doctor’s office would be closed due to the Martin Luther King, Jr., holiday. I agreed that I would and we hung up.
After talking with MY LOVE about how THE DEVIL might be treating OUR SON’s rash, I called it back and asked it more specific questions about the rash and any seemingly-related symptoms, and if it had been applying hydrocortisone cream as a healing agent. It reluctantly answered my questions, and said that it had been using cortisone cream (although it turns out that it had been using hydrocortisone ointment—not cream—which irritated OUR SON’s skin and made him cry!). It’s also been giving him Benadryl elixir to relieve the itch.
THE DEVIL later complained in a 1/16/06 email to its attorney (see entry) that I’d “…called back to ask me a plethora of questions and wanted to know how I have handled his symptoms.” Yes…and your point is?
THE PSYCHIATRIST’s Report, Part VI: Conclusions, p. 19: “THE DEVIL tests as evidencing internalized psychopathology that reflects its proneness to convert Psychological stress in to physical symptoms, which results in hypochondrical features.”
Monday, 1/16/06
From: THE DEVIL [mailto:msdevilshine@carrier.net]
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 4:34 AM
To: TOKEN MALE
Subject: children
TOKEN MALE,
When the children are ill, I expect that you will be taking care of our children and not placing that responsibility on anyone else. The children have been more than clear they wish to be with mom or dad, especially when they are ill. If you have a problem with this request, please let me know if this will be a potential problem, as I feel caring for the children, especially when they are ill, is soley [sic] the responsibility of OUR DAUGHTER & OUR SON's parents. If this is not going to be the case, then we need to find a solution we can agree on.
I also want to make it known that when you are unavavilable [sic] to be with our children, during "your" scheduled visitation time (for whatever reason) I will always be available to care for our children, even if that means rearranging my schedule. The children want to be with us. There is absolutely n o reason the children should be left in the care or anyone else when one of their parents is available. The only person I ever leave the children with is my mother and that is not for child care but to visit their grandma. Again, if this is not acceptable and agreeable, I would like to know.
THE DEVIL
I didn’t respond to THE DEVIL’s nasty email; however, see 1/17/06 and 3/23/06 for my unsent responses.
5:25 a.m.: Following is another email from THE DEVIL...although this one was actually intended for its attorney and it inadvertently sent it to me instead. My responses to its lies and accusations follow its follow-up message (see 1/17/06).
From: THE DEVIL [mailto:msdevilshine@carrier.net]
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 5:25 AM
To: TOKEN MALE
Subject: Fwd: children
ITS 2ND ATTORNEY,
I have informed TOKEN MALE that OUR SON is ill and have asked him to take the day off to care for our child. He said he would but then called back to ask me a plethora of questions and wanted to know how I have handled his symptoms. Then he indicated to OUR DAUGHTER he would pick our child up at 7:30am, which is unheard of for him as he usually makes me late for work. [LIE] This tells me as always, he is planning to drop his fatherly responsibility of caring for his ill child onto his girlfriend/wife?, [Wife, thank you very much!] and this IS NOT ACCEPTABLE to me under any circumstance. My children do not like. [incomplete sentence]
Cathy, I requested and made it very clear from day one, I wanted "the first right of refusal" why is it okay for TOKEN MALE to DUMP his parenting responsibilities he has fought so hard for, off on someone else?[ ]especially when my children have made it clear they DO NOT WANT to be with MY LOVE [LIE] only their dad or I. They don't want to live with dad [LIE] but understand they have no choice, but now this? I have a MAJOR problem with this especially when TOKEN MALE he has sick time that he can take.
IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER COURT DATE TO SORT ALL THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUT.
I want you to know, I am NOT AT ALL PLEASED with the way ANY of this divorce has turned out. I am not pleased with Unger as our Judge, and her 50/50 circus agreement one day with dad, the next with mom, what kinda of [sic] stability is this for our children. It heard absolutely none of our case
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
THE COURT[S] DO NOT do whats [sic] in the best interest of the children. I have lost ALL RESPECT for our so called court of law. The system is unjust and wrong.[ ]It's an unethical money making industry. Now you know how I really feel.
I'm not going to allow TOKEN MALE to shift his parenting responsibility which he has fought so hard for off onto someone else. Isn't that a dead beat dad??? Unger is so stupid she couldn't see this whole thing is about money, of coarse [sic] maybe if she had heard any of our testimony she would have figured it out. I WILL continue to fight for my children and the truth. I do not have a problem with TOKEN MALE parenting his children, or the children living 43/45% with their dad, even though the schedule is a dog and pony show! and is reaping [the word is “wreaking,” you idiot!] havoc on my children! I have a HUGE problem with DEAD BEAT TOKEN MALE DUMPING HIS PARENTING RESPONSIBILITIES off on ANYONE else, especially someone who is seething with hatred towards the mother of his children.
I am supposed to believe that is not going to affect how she treats our children when he's not around? She already has "OUR DAUGHTER big a s [sic] a house"???? [LIE] You know Cathy, it wouldn't be such a slap in the face if he had exhausted all his sick leave, but he gets 5 weeks a year. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME HE TOOK A SICK DAY FOR OUR CHILDREN. I will tell you the honest to God's answer, NEVER! In 3 1/2 years!
Maybe TOKEN MALE & I should be forced in to mandatory counseling with our children. I don't know if this is a solution but what am I to constantly do? It [sic] clothing, it's nasty emails, it's his constantly changing the rules to his advantage, the schedule, the holidays. When are the courts going to facilitate a parenting plan? Isn't this what we have been paying for??
I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN AND FORCE TOKEN MALE TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE!!!
THE DEVIL
Note: forwarded message attached.
I didn’t respond to THE DEVIL’s nasty email; however, see 1/17/06 and 3/23/06 for my unsent responses.
THE PSYCHIATRIST’s Report, Psychopathology, p. 13: “THE DEVIL is unable to accept aggressiveness in itself or in others and will react to stresses with clinging and petulantly demanding behaviors. Some women with THE DEVIL’s profile developed [sic] anxiety symptoms or acute anxiety attacks.”
6:02 a.m.: Thirty-seven minutes later, THE DEVIL sent me an “apologetic” message once it realized its error (which it had copied to its attorney):
From: THE DEVIL [mailto:msdevilshine@carrier.net]
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 6:02 AM
To: TOKEN MALE
Cc: its2ndattorney@carrier.com
Subject: email sent by mistake.
TOKEN MALE,
Your [sic] going to get an e-mail which was mistakenly sent to you intended for my attorney. I apologize for not being more careful when I hit send. It happend [sic] when I was forwarding the other two e-mails I sent you earilier [sic] and didn't notice your address was the address attached. I apologize as you will take offense however try and remember it clearly was not intended for you to read. I am very embarrassed.
I imagine you will be very upset, but now you know how I honestly feel.
OUR DAUGHTER & OUR SON are our children and parenting them should be between us. You need to care for them when they are ill, nobody else.[ ]You need to be with them when it's your scheduled time. This is all I ask. When you can not be with them during your scheduled time, they need to be left with their mom. To assure you, I do not leave the children with any sitters, ever. [LIE] They visit their grandma on occassion [sic] and thats [sic] all.
We need to be agreeable for the sake of our children. I will do whatever I can to facilitate a peaceful environment with you, for them. Again, my e-mail was not intended for your eyes as I think is clearly evident. Please accept it was mistakenly sent and not intended to strike up any warfare between us. I don't need some lengthy response from MY LOVE as I will no longer welcome her emails, and frankly this is between us.
All I ask TOKEN MALE, is that you will do whats [sic] best for our children. Ask them how they feel. Nobody will take as good of care of our children as we will. Please parent them when they are with you and don't put that responsibility on anyone else. This is all I ask.
THE DEVIL
I didn’t respond to THE DEVIL’s “apology”; however, at the end of my 2/6/06 email to THE DEVIL, subject: Your 2/6/06 Note and 2/3/06 Voice Message (see 2/6/06), I wrote the following: “Oh…and by the way…just because I didn’t respond to the nasty, lie-riddled email you sent to me instead of your attorney (as you’d intended) doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.”
Also see 1/17/06 and 3/23/06 for my unsent response to THE DEVIL’s nastiness.
6:30 a.m.: Today was a school holiday (the observation of Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday), so MY LOVE and I stayed in Our Town last night on our way home from Squaw Valley. Because we had only one vehicle with us, MY LOVE rode with me to Our New Town this morning to get ready for work there.
9:30 a.m.: MY LOVE climbed in to her van in our driveway to leave for Our Town. Just then, THE DEVIL pulled in to our cul-de-sac, driving so slowly that its SUV caught MY LOVE’s attention (she’s only seen THE DEVIL’s new SUV a couple of times and didn’t immediately recognize it as THE DEVIL’s). MY LOVE thought it was strange that the SUV was driving so slowly and intently past our house. I said, “I guess they’re here.” “Who’s here?” “The bitch is here with the kids.” Regardless of THE DEVIL’s untimely arrival, I leaned in to MY LOVE’s window and gave my wife a quick kiss goodbye before she left for work. I didn’t do this to upset THE DEVIL, but I wasn’t about to let my wife drive off without a proper goodbye just because THE DEVIL happened to show up at an inopportune moment.
THE DEVIL’s Reaction to MY LOVE. At this point, neither MY LOVE nor I had seen THE DEVIL’s ugly emails. Blissfully unaware of its most recent spate of nastiness, upon THE DEVIL’s arrival MY LOVE considered that she could pretend not to see THE DEVIL, or she could be cordial and acknowledge its presence. Because we’re living closer to THE DEVIL and we’ll likely be seeing more of it, she decided to start things off on the right foot and acknowledge it. As MY LOVE backed out of our driveway, she glanced at THE DEVIL, meeting its red pig eyes, and gave it a small, friendly wave and smile. THE DEVIL was leaning over its steering wheel with its mouth gaping open as it sat staring toward us. In response to MY LOVE’s wave, THE DEVIL continued to hold its mouth open and blatantly rolled its eyes as if to say, “Give me a break!” MY LOVE left knowing that she had done the right thing by being cordial. We also both understand that THE DEVIL will always be difficult. After all, it's the devil!
THE DEVIL was obviously upset as it clomped around on its cloven hooves and barely spoke while we exchanged the children. This was the first time it had been to our new home, and I don’t know if it was upset by our house or its location, by MY LOVE’s earlier presence…or what. And, personally, I couldn't give a shit.
OUR SON’s Doctor Visit. I took OUR SON to urgent care; he was seen by the Internal Medicine doctor on duty, who diagnosed him with contact dermatitis. He indicated that OUR SON was NOT contagious, and that he didn’t have chicken pox or poison oak as THE DEVIL had stupidly speculated. He surmised that OUR SON’s rash was caused by something external that he’d come in to contact with, which had likely been on his hands and transferred to his face. He recommended that we treat him with an oral allergy medication to control any itching and apply hydrocortisone cream to the affected area to help speed healing. He said it would be okay for OUR SON to attend daycare, and that we should monitor the rash for a day or so to make sure it didn’t get worse. When I communicated this to THE DEVIL, it accused me of not being “pushy enough” with the doctor, and said that it would just take him to a “real” doctor tomorrow versus an urgent care doctor…keeping in mind that he had been seen by my personal doctor.
I purchased Children’s Claritin Syrup for OUR SON’s rash.
Tuesday, 1/17/06
I took OUR SON to daycare this morning and sent him to THE DEVIL’s house with the Claritin elixir that I’d purchased for him yesterday. Unfortunately, I’d failed to label the bottle as belonging to me.
Not surprisingly, THE DEVIL didn’t take OUR SON to see his pediatrician today as it claimed that it would yesterday. (Of course not…that would’ve cost it $15, and it leaves the co-pays to me.) Furthermore, it didn’t keep OUR SON home today due to his “illness.” It worked a full day while the children attended daycare.
I, too, worked today after taking the day off with OUR SON yesterday. At some point this afternoon, I was able to check my work email and noticed the 1/16/06 messages from THE DEVIL. Following is my unsent rebuttal, which counters each of its absurdities and out-and-out lies:
“When the children are ill, I expect that you will be taking care of our children and not placing that responsibility on anyone else.” [1/16/06] You cannot dictate to me how to parent our children.
“The children have been more than clear they wish to be with mom or dad, especially when they are ill.” [1/16/06] The children turn to me or MY LOVE equally, even when they aren’t feeling well.
“The only person I ever leave the children with is my mother and that is not for child care but to visit their grandma.” “To assure you, I do not leave the children with any sitters, ever.” [1/16/06] I am very aware that you DO leave the children with individuals other than your mother. Let’s start with teenaged babysitters to include Nicole and Jessica. You’ve also left them with your neighbor Kris, your boyfriend Tom, and your friends Pam and Mary, among others. Shall I go on? Regardless, it’s absurd to compare MY LOVE to teenaged babysitters and family friends. She’s the children’s stepmother. She’s family, not a babysitter.
“This tells me as always, he is planning to drop his fatherly responsibility of caring for his ill child onto his girlfriend/wife?” [1/16/06] As always? MY LOVE has never taken time off from work to care for our children. Beyond that, I’m perplexed as to how you jumped to this conclusion in the first place given that in no way did I give you any indication that this is what I’d intended to do. (And, for the record, MY LOVE is my wife.)
“My children do not like [MY LOVE].” [1/16/06] OUR DAUGHTER and OUR SON adore MY LOVE. They won’t admit this to you because you’ve made it clear that for them to appease you they must despise her. We know the truth and the children know the truth because they live it every day. Regardless, I’m confused…don’t you want me to be with someone who is kind, compassionate, supportive and loving of our children? Or would you prefer the alternative, that she was horrible, wicked, degrading and loathing of them? As any selfless parent would, I expect that you would choose the first scenario rather than the latter.
“…I requested and made it very clear from day one, I wanted "the first right of refusal” [1/16/06] Please clarify. Did you actually want me to offer you the option of taking the day off to care for OUR SON when that’s what you were asking me to do? (THE DEVIL: “OUR SON isn’t well. Can you take the day off to care for him?” TOKEN MALE: “No, but because you have the first right of refusal, rather than have MY LOVE care for him, can you take the day off instead?” THE DEVIL: “Sure, no problem.”) That doesn’t make sense. I’m sorry…I just don’t get your point.
“…why is it okay for TOKEN MALE to DUMP his parenting responsibilities he has fought so hard for, off on someone else?” [1/16/06] It was never my intention to leave OUR SON with MY LOVE. I took the day off from work, I took OUR SON to urgent care, I purchased the doctor-recommended over-the-counter medication for him, I explained the outcome of this visit to you, and I had the children in my care until the following morning. Enough!
“especially when my children have made it clear they DO NOT WANT to be with MY LOVE only their dad or I.” [1/16/06] The children have in no way, shape or form ever given me or MY LOVE any indication that would even remotely support your claim. In fact, they often ask to stay home with MY LOVE when we have errands to run, and OUR SON has asked more than once if he could stay home with her rather than go to daycare when we’re both heading off to work. Your claim is not supported by the facts.
“They don't want to live with dad but understand they have no choice…” [1/16/06] Interestingly enough, both children have expressed to me at one time or another that they wished they could live with me. I’m sure they’d love to live with both of their parents, but they also know that it’s not even a remote possibility and it would not be a happy situation for anyone.
“I'm not going to allow TOKEN MALE to shift his parenting responsibility which he has fought so hard for off onto someone else. Isn't that a dead beat dad???” [1/16/06] This assertion is so insane…so out there in “left field”…that I cannot even attempt a response. Oh, wait a minute, yes I can: "FUCK YOU!"
“THE JUDGE is so stupid she couldn't see this whole thing is about money” [1/16/06] THE JUDGE could see that for me this is all about spending quality time with my children. Do you really think that I increased my mortgage payment by $1,000 a month just so I could save $400 a month in child support?
“I do not have a problem with TOKEN MALE parenting his children” [1/16/06] I don’t need your consent to parent my children.
“I have a HUGE problem with DEAD BEAT TOKEN MALE DUMPING HIS PARENTING RESPONSIBILITIES off on ANYONE else” [1/16/06] You know full well that this is a lie, and yet you attempt to undermine my integrity and credibility by lying to others (albeit to your attorney) about me in a manner that makes it impossible for me to defend myself.
“…especially someone who is seething with hatred towards the mother of his children.” [1/16/06] She doesn't think much of some of your tactics or motives (nor do I), but MY LOVE is not “seething with hatred” toward you as that would only hurt her.
“I am supposed to believe that is not going to affect how she treats our children when he's not around?” [1/16/06] Could it be that you can’t accept that MY LOVE always treats our children in a fair and loving manner because you’re not sure that you would be able to do the same if the situation were reversed? (It's called "transferrance," DEVIL.)
“She already has ‘OUR DAUGHTER big as a house’” [1/16/06] Just because you reject the truth in favor of perpetuating this cycle of lies and hate, doesn’t make what you say any less of a lie. It’s amazing that by repeating your lies, you actually begin to believe them.
“WHEN IS THE LAST TIME HE TOOK A SICK DAY FOR OUR CHILDREN. I will tell you the honest to God's answer, NEVER! In 3 1/2 years!” [1/16/06] Really? Then how do you explain the fact that I’ve taken time off from work to care for the children on 3/17/03, 5/9/03, 5/12/03, 6/13/03, 5 days in 11/03 for OUR DAUGHTER’s tonsils, 1/14/04, 7/15/04, 3/30/05, 1/16/06 and 1/18/06…just to name those days that I’ve documented? I could pull my work records for a more complete representation, if necessary. Beyond any of that, how do you justify to yourself that you invoked God’s name in support of your lie?
“I apologize for not being more careful when I hit send [in sending an email intended for ITS 2ND ATTORNEY].” [1/16/06] Excuse me, but let me get this straight…you’re sorry for not being more careful, but you’re not sorry for blatantly lying about me and MY LOVE? I do NOT accept your apology as this is no apology at all.
“OUR DAUGHTER & OUR SON are our children and parenting them should be between us.” “…and frankly this is between us.” [1/16/06] To me, “us” means you, me and MY LOVE. Nothing is just between you and me. I’m married and, as my partner and co-parent, everything involving me and/or my children will also involve MY LOVE.
“You need to care for them when they are ill, nobody else. You need to be with them when it's your scheduled time. When you can not be with them during your scheduled time, they need to be left with their mom.” [1/16/06] You cannot dictate to me how to parent our children.
“I will do whatever I can to facilitate a peaceful environment with you, for them.” [1/16/06] You have done little in support of this; however, I would truly appreciate it if your actions supported your claim as actions speak louder than words.
“Please accept it was mistakenly sent and not intended to strike up any warfare between us.” [1/16/06] I am not the one who continues to make war between us; therefore, your indiscriminate act will not strike up any warfare between us.
“I don't need some lengthy response from MY LOVE as I will no longer welcome her emails...” [1/16/06] My emails are from me; they express my opinions, my concerns, my requests and my expectations.
“Ask [the children] how they feel.” [1/16/06] I am not going to put our children in the middle. They freely tell me how they feel with their own words and actions. I refuse to make them feel that they must choose sides. My home is their safe haven and I’m not about to take that away from them.
Wednesday, 1/18/06
8 a.m.: THE DEVIL called to tell me that I’d again have to take the day off from work to take OUR SON to the doctor. According to it, his rash had worsened. It’s obvious that it’s documenting this “incident” as it not only left me a voice message and spoke to me about this on the phone, but it sent me the following email with a copy to its attorney, as well:
From: THE DEVIL [mailto:msdevilshine@carrier.net]
Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2006 8:11 AM
To: TOKEN MALE
Cc: its2ndattorney@carrier.com
Subject: OUR SON
TOKEN MALE,
OUR SON woke up this morning and his rash is worse. It appears it may be traveling down his back. He is itching and crying. He is very uncomfortable. His glands on the right side of his neck are extremely swollen and protruding. He needs to be seen by a real doctor, a pediatrician. Someone that is not just going to pat him on the back and tell us everything is okay. I am calling this morning to make an appointment for him. He does not feel well and is sick.
I have been the one who has taken the children to work with me and taken the time off work every time they have been ill. [LIE] I am training a new girl for ITS 1ST JOB and starting a new job Monday. I will not have the flexibility that I once had, especially being new to a property.
[T]he doctor need[s] to know I treated OUR SON with benadril [sic] for 3 days, have been using topical benadryl [sic] and cort aide [sic] for 5 days.[ ]Nothing is helping. The opening of his air passage in his throat is very small. If I take him I will demand they do tests to figure out what is wrong. You need to do the same.
The only thing different I have given him to eat was Special Kay [sic] cereal with red berries. It had a lot of dehydrated strawberries in it.
THE DEVIL
I didn’t respond to THE DEVIL’s nastiness; however, following is my unsent rebuttal to its assertions and allegations:
OUR SON woke up this morning and his rash is worse. Upon my examination later that morning, I determined that it had only spread slightly from the day before, and was still not severe.
It appears it may be traveling down his back. He is itching and crying. He is very uncomfortable. After speaking with THE DEVIL, I learned that it had applied lotion to OUR SON’s face on Saturday to treat a dry patch. The doctor who saw him today believes that this is the cause of OUR SON’s rash.
His glands on the right side of his neck are extremely swollen and protruding. This is an extreme exaggeration, but his slightly swollen glands are because of his tonsils, not the rash.
He needs to be seen by a real doctor, a pediatrician. He was seen by a real doctor…MY doctor…who was working at Urgent Care on Monday.
Someone that is not just going to pat him on the back and tell us everything is okay. The doctor did not “pat him on the back.” He thoroughly examined OUR SON and made a determination as to the cause and severity of his condition.
I am calling this morning to make an appointment for him. He does not feel well and is sick. He was feeling fine and is not sick. THE DEVIL is exaggerating, as usual.
I have been the one who has taken the children to work with me and taken the time off work every time they have been ill. This is a lie. I, too, have taken time off work to be with the children when they are ill. However, why would I take time off from work to care for them THE DEVIL doesn’t tell me when they are ill?
I am training a new girl for ITS 1ST JOB and starting a new job Monday. This is the first I’ve heard of this. I’m assuming that this means THE DEVIL will be earning more money.
the doctor need to know I treated OUR SON with benadril for 3 days, have been using topical benadryl and cort aide for 5 days.Nothing is helping. The opening of his air passage in his throat is very small. If I take him I will demand they do tests to figure out what is wrong. You need to do the same. Then why doesn’t it just take him instead of trying to dictate to me.
The only thing different I have given him to eat was Special Kay cereal with red berries. It had a lot of dehydrated strawberries in it. OUR SON has eaten dehydrated strawberries in cereal at my house several times and experienced no problems.
OUR SON’s Doctor Visit. I took OUR SON to see a pediatrician. She indicated that his rash was likely caused by THE DEVIL’s application of lotion to his face…something THE DEVIL had communicated to me for the first time only that morning. When I later spoke with MY LOVE about this, she agreed with the doctor’s assessment, saying, “If it had just mentioned that right up front, I could’ve told you that that’s what caused it. You’re never supposed to use lotion on your face unless it’s hypoallergenic and noncomedigenic!” The doctor recommended that we continue to treat OUR SON with allergy medication to control the itch and apply hydrocortisone cream to the affected area to help heal the rash.
OUR SON was fine, so I dropped him off at daycare for the remainder of the workday. I sent him with the Aveeno 1% Hydrocortisone Cream that I’d also bought for him; however, because THE DEVIL almost never returns products that I’ve purchased to my home, I wrote “TOKEN MALE’s House” in indelible black ink across the tube…which is what it does with everything it sends with the children that belongs to it.
Thursday, 1/19/06
4:30 p.m.: I picked the children up from daycare after work today and noticed that, as expected, THE DEVIL hadn’t returned the Claritin Elixir that I’d purchased and sent with OUR SON for his use at its house. It knows that he needs to take an oral allergy medication for his rash, and yet it didn’t send the medicine that I’d purchased for him to take.
On the way home, I purchased a generic cherry-flavored Children’s Allergy Medicine (equal to Benadryl Liquid) to replace the Claritin.
Friday, 1/20/06
I picked the children up from KIDS’ 2ND DAYCARE after work today for our weekend together. THE DEVIL left the following, handwritten note inside OUR SON’s backpack:
TOKEN MALE
Ive [sic] been researching and we should try not putting any cream on OUR SON’s rash. It could possibly make it worse. Ive [sic] read it may leave a barrier from air and lock the heat in. Instead try a luke warm[sic]/tepid bath with the bath treatment [Aveeno*] and let him soak.
Im [sic] calling 1ST PEDIATRICIAN today as the rash has now spread to his back.
THE DEVIL
I didn’t respond to THE DEVIL’s note.
*THE DEVIL sent home a packet of Aveeno Skin Relief Bath Treatment and actually returned the marked Aveeno Hydrocortisone Cream that I’d purchased for my house.
THE DEVIL’s request that we “try not putting any cream” on OUR SON’s rash was referring to the Aveeno 1% Hydrocortisone Cream that I’d sent with him the day before. Its so-called “research” findings contradict my discussions with both doctors; therefore, I took a few minutes to do my own online research and found the following advice to support the use of 1% Hydrocortisone Cream:
Source: Shands HealthCare (http://www.shands.org/health/information/article/003220.htm)
Common Causes:
Contact dermatitis following exposure to:
- Dyes and other chemicals found in clothing
- Chemicals found in elastic and rubber products
- Cosmetics
- Feminine deodorants
- Poison ivy and poison oak
Home Care:
Most common rashes will improve with gentle skin care and avoidance of irritating substances.
- Avoid scrubbing the skin.
- Minimize the use of soap (using gentle cleansers when possible).
- Moisturize frequently.
- Eliminate any newly added cosmetics or lotions.
Hydrocortisone cream (1%) is available without prescription and may soothe many rashes.
Call your health care provider if:
- Home treatment is ineffective, or if symptoms persist or worsen.
- Other symptoms accompany the rashes.
What to expect at your health care provider's office:
Depending on the cause of your rash, treatments may include topical medications, oral medications, and/or skin surgery.
I ignored THE DEVIL's note and continued to treat OUR SON's rash as recommended by his doctors, and it improved while in my care. Idiot!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Lice!!! (Nov '05-Jul '07)
Tuesday, 11/29/05. THE DEVIL sent me the following email, and then called me in a panic later that afternoon to inform me that OUR SON has lice…even though his pediatrician didn’t reach that conclusion. As described to me, THE DEVIL believed that it might have seen "lice eggs" in OUR SON’s hair this morning....even though it has no idea what "nits" look like.
From: 1st JOB [mailto:1stjob@1stemployer.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 29, 2005 1:17 PM
To: TOKEN MALESubject: OUR SON
TOKEN MALE,
I am taking OUR SON to the doctor today at 2:00pm to see if he has lice. If he does there is a good possibility OUR DAUGHTER has it and us as well. I will let you know. OUR DAUGHTER & OUR SON are still feeling under the weather so please keep them out of the cold and make sure they bundle up. I will be home at 7:00pm so you can drop them off.
THE DEVIL
According to THE DEVIL, the children’s pediatrician was "unable to definitively diagnose head lice"; however, THE DEVIL itself concluded that OUR SON did have lice and claims to have purchased $80 worth of supplies to rid him of this "infestation." THE DEVIL’s reaction is so typically histrionic that I’m not sure where to begin.
· THE DEVIL knows nothing about head lice and, once again, has failed to educate itself concerning the children’s “perceived” illness (see 3/29/05). Rather than consult with me, one of its minions, or the Internet for additional information, it panicked and scheduled a doctor’s appointment…right before it sent OUR SON off to daycare to possibly infest his classmates!
· Without even knowing if OUR SON actually had head lice, THE DEVIL assumed the worst case scenario: Not only does OUR SON have lice, but OUR DAUGHTER, THE DEVIL and I all have lice. Using its logic, one could then assume that I must have given it to everyone in my household and everyone I work with. And so on and so on...
· If OUR SON did, indeed, have head lice, the actual treatment costs less than $15 and household sprays might cost another $15 for a total of $30. THE DEVIL is either exaggerating when it says that it spent $80 on treatments or it went way overboard. If true, it likely purchased treatments for it and the children at a cost of $45, plus another $35 or so for cleaning products, etc.
· Something that should’ve cost no more than $30 max allegedly cost THE DEVIL about $95 ($15 co-pay for a doctor visit and $80 in treatments and cleaning products)…AND OUR SON didn't even have lice!
Within 1 minute of searching “head lice treatments” on the Web, I located an article at Harvard School of Public Health’s website (http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/headlice.html). As excerpted: “Treatment should be considered only when active lice or viable eggs are observed.”
If the children had been exposed to and/or been infested with head lice while in my care, THE DEVIL would’ve come unglued! Regardless, when it informed me of its diagnosis that OUR SON had head lice, I remained calm and unaccusatory.
Wednesday, 6/6/07
7:39 a.m.: Excerpt from THE DEVIL’s email in response to my 6/4 email concerning her refusal to reimburse me for the children's dental appointment: "Also, now that I think about it. Remember the lice scare??? I spend [sic] $120.00* for over the counter treatments for both children? which was part of a medical condition."
*On 11/25/05, THE DEVIL claimed to have spent $15 for OUR SON's doctor's visit co-pay and $80 in supplies, which totals $95...and now it claims to have spent $120?! Okay...
7:28 p.m.: Excerpt from THE DEVIL's third nasty email in follow up to my 6/4 email (my bolding and highlighting added): "Are you going to give me $60.00 for the Dr visits and Nix treatments for both children when they had lice???? If your [sic] a father, leave a check for the other 'shared"expenses ...'"
Sunday, 6/17/07
1:28 a.m.: Excerpt from my email to THE DEVIL in response to her 6/4, 6/5 and 6/6 emails to me and her attorney (excerpts from its original emails are in violet; mine are in blue):
"Remember the lice scare??? I spend [sic] $120.00 for over the counter treatments for both children? [W]hich was part of a medical condition.
Are you going to give me $60.00 for the Dr visits and Nix treatments for both children when they had lice????"
The State of California defines “uninsured healthcare expenses” as health insurance deductibles, co-payments and reasonable health-related procedures not covered by health insurance. It does not include over-the-counter medications or household cleaning products (otherwise I’d have a whole slew of receipts for you). I will reimburse you for half the children’s doctor visit co-pays and any prescription medication co-pays upon proof of your imbursement…and once I’ve received your reimbursement to me for half of my out-of-pocket 2006 uninsured healthcare expenses, of which your outstanding share is $95 (seven doctor visit co-pays at $15 each, two eye exams at $10, and five prescription co-pays totaling $65, for a grand total of $190). However, I will not reimburse you for household cleaning products.
Tuesday, 7/3/07
7:58 a.m.: Following is an excerpt from THE DEVIL's lie-filled rant to its attorney in follow up to our conversation this morning:
I ALSO NEVER HAD HIM PAY ME $100 1/2 HALF OF THE LICE TREATMENT LAST YEAR.
My Response:
Again, as I explained in my 6/16/07 email, the State of California defines “uninsured healthcare expenses” as health insurance deductibles, co-payments and reasonable health-related procedures not covered by health insurance. It does not include over-the-counter medications or household cleaning products (otherwise I’d have a whole slew of receipts for you). I will reimburse you for half the children’s doctor visit co-pays and any prescription medication co-pays upon proof of your imbursement…and once I’ve received your reimbursement to me for half of my out-of-pocket 2006 uninsured healthcare expenses, of which your outstanding share is $95 (seven doctor visit co-pays at $15 each, two eye exams at $10, and five prescription co-pays totaling $65, for a grand total of $190). However, I will not reimburse you for household cleaning products. Again, please stop trying to collect money that is not owed to you.
I'm assuming THE DEVIL's attorney told it to knock it off, because I haven't heard a peep out of it about this issue in the last 3-1/2 years.
Rabies!!! (6/10/05)
Friday, 6/10/05. THE DEVIL’s cat carried a bat in to its house. That's it. End of story. At least you'd think so...
THE DEVIL called me on my cell phone and frantically informed me that it and the kids may have “caught” rabies. I repeated this out loud, and MY LOVE and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. THE DEVIL doesn’t care that you can’t catch rabies by being in the same area as an animal that was around an animal that may have rabies…that it’s transmitted by the bite of a rabid animal or, though rare, if the saliva from a rabid animal gets in to your eyes, nose, mouth, or a wound—none of which had occurred. There's no drama in that scenario.
Apparently, THE DEVIL had called animal control, and they removed the bat for testing (it was later determined to be rabies-free). At animal control’s suggestion, THE DEVIL “quarantined” the cat. I say “quarantined” because it caged the animal in its bathtub, then allowed the children to pet it through the cage! I saw this taking place while picking the children up at its house the following Monday morning, and suggested that this wasn’t a good idea. It replied that it "really didn’t think the cat had rabies," therefore it was "okay for the kids to handle the cat"…and yet it had the mewing animal caged in its bathtub!
THE DEVIL never bothered to research rabies, how it’s transmitted or how it’s treated. Rather than educate itself and remain calm (which wouldn’t have drawn any attention to it or its “plight”), it telephoned everyone it knew in an attempt to garner their attention, sympathy, and support. It was disappointed by my reaction to the news of this “tragedy” as I didn’t panic. I asked it specifically what had happened, and calmly said that it didn’t sound like there was any real danger and that I certainly hoped for the best outcome.
With THE DEVIL, it’s all about drama, not facts. Because the bat didn’t have rabies, THE DEVIL quickly became bored with this particular topic and never raised the subject again.
Hoof and Mouth Disease!!! (3/29/05)
THE DEVIL called to tell me that OUR DAUGHTER had a moderate fever and it thought that she might have “hand, foot and mouth disease”* as “one of the neighborhood children had recently been diagnosed” with this illness.
I asked if it knew anything about this disease or if it had taken OUR DAUGHTER to the doctor. It said that it didn’t know anything other than that you get a high fever and blisters inside your mouth and on the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet, and it hadn’t taken OUR DAUGHTER to the doctor. I asked it if OUR DAUGHTER exhibited any of these symptoms, other than that she was running a fever. THE DEVIL said no. So even though it was obviously "distraught" and overly concerned that OUR DAUGHTER might have this disease, it hadn’t taken any steps to learn more about it, nor had it consulted with a medical professional about the possibility that OUR DAUGHTER might have been exposed to it.
I told THE DEVIL that I had no problem taking the next day off from work. THE DEVIL expected that I would drive to OUR TOWN after work tonight (which is 35 miles past ITS TOWN), return to ITS TOWN tomorrow morning (Wednesday) to pick the children up from its house, then drive back to OUR TOWN that morning, only to return to ITS TOWN Wednesday evening to bring the children to its house, then drive back to OUR TOWN that evening. I told it that I’d pick the children up from its house on my way home from work Tuesday evening, keep them at my home all day Wednesday, and bring them to its house in ITS TOWN Thursday morning on my way to work. It was initially taken aback and was unsure whether it would agree to my suggestion. It eventually agreed, and decided that it would be better for OUR SON to remain with it in ITS TOWN as – according to it – “hand, foot and mouth disease is highly contagious.”
*At my first opportunity, I researched this disease on the Internet and discovered that hoof and mouth disease is a viral infection that afflicts animals with cloven hooves (cattle, pigs, sheep). Onset in animals is characterized by fever, followed by blisters inside the mouth and on the feet. Humans are not susceptible to hoof and mouth, but can carry and transmit the disease without even realizing it.
I asked if it knew anything about this disease or if it had taken OUR DAUGHTER to the doctor. It said that it didn’t know anything other than that you get a high fever and blisters inside your mouth and on the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet, and it hadn’t taken OUR DAUGHTER to the doctor. I asked it if OUR DAUGHTER exhibited any of these symptoms, other than that she was running a fever. THE DEVIL said no. So even though it was obviously "distraught" and overly concerned that OUR DAUGHTER might have this disease, it hadn’t taken any steps to learn more about it, nor had it consulted with a medical professional about the possibility that OUR DAUGHTER might have been exposed to it.
I told THE DEVIL that I had no problem taking the next day off from work. THE DEVIL expected that I would drive to OUR TOWN after work tonight (which is 35 miles past ITS TOWN), return to ITS TOWN tomorrow morning (Wednesday) to pick the children up from its house, then drive back to OUR TOWN that morning, only to return to ITS TOWN Wednesday evening to bring the children to its house, then drive back to OUR TOWN that evening. I told it that I’d pick the children up from its house on my way home from work Tuesday evening, keep them at my home all day Wednesday, and bring them to its house in ITS TOWN Thursday morning on my way to work. It was initially taken aback and was unsure whether it would agree to my suggestion. It eventually agreed, and decided that it would be better for OUR SON to remain with it in ITS TOWN as – according to it – “hand, foot and mouth disease is highly contagious.”
*At my first opportunity, I researched this disease on the Internet and discovered that hoof and mouth disease is a viral infection that afflicts animals with cloven hooves (cattle, pigs, sheep). Onset in animals is characterized by fever, followed by blisters inside the mouth and on the feet. Humans are not susceptible to hoof and mouth, but can carry and transmit the disease without even realizing it.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Calls to My Health Plan (Jul '08)
BACKGROUND: THE DEVIL called MY employer-sponsored medical plan and lied to/intimidated an inexperienced customer service rep to change MY plan without being authorized to do so.
Here is the fallout from THE DEVIL's deceit:
_________________________________________________
Tuesday, 7/8. THE DEVIL called MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER and spoke with Saul to change the children’s primary care physician. It isn’t authorized to make changes to my medical plan, but lied to Saul, assuring him that I’d approved the change, that it doesn’t get along with me, and that we don’t communicate well. Saul made the change on 7/16.
Wednesday, 7/16.
I got off graves Tuesday morning at 8a. I usually don’t nap following my last day of graves so I can get back on track and sleep that night, so I hadn’t slept in 28 hours when I went to bed at 10p Tuesday night. I was still asleep when MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER called this morning and didn’t get any of their calls.
Friday, 7/18. 10:18a, 60m 25s: I returned MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER’s 7/16 message from Saul. Lisa S. answered. While not a verbatim transcript, the preceding is an accurate representation of the statements, tone, logic and intent of the parties involved in this dispute.
Lisa verified who I was and informed me that OUR
way to do this would be to patch THE DEVIL in to our call. I was apprehensive about this, but agreed. I gave Lisa THE DEVIL’s cell phone number, and Lisa called THE DEVIL with me on the line. THE DEVIL answered. It was at work, but so was I.
Lisa: “Hi, I’m Lisa from MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER. I’ve got your ex-husband Token Male on the phone with me for a three-way conference call, and we’re trying to figure out
how you were able to change his medical insurance.”
THE DEVIL: “They’re my kids and I can change their doctor if I want to!”
Lisa deferred to me and remained silent, listening for a good couple of minutes while I tried to reason with THE DEVIL.
Me: “You need to understand that, the thing is, you can’t change my insurance.”
THE DEVIL: “Well you said it was okay.” [LIE]
Me: “You know what? You’re a liar because I never said that. You didn’t even ask me if you could change their doctor. I’m not opposed to changing their doctor, but I’m upset that you didn’t tell me.”
THE DEVIL: “I don’t have to tell you, I’m their mother. And you know that I’ve never liked PEDIATRICIAN 1, and that she and I have never gotten along and I’ve wanted to change doctors for a long time.”
Me: “No, I didn’t.”
THE DEVIL and I went back and forth for about 10 minutes; it yelling while I remained calm. Lisa also tried talking to THE DEVIL, but THE DEVIL continued to yell. I told THE DEVIL a couple of times that it needed to stop yelling: that I couldn’t explain anything with it yelling, but it just kept on. Lisa remained calm, tactful, and very positive even though THE DEVIL grew increasingly aggressive and argumentative with her.
Lisa: “Token Male is saying he didn’t give you authorization, is that what you’re saying Token Male?”
Me: “Right, I didn’t give it authorization.”
THE DEVIL: “Who does he think he is: he makes appointments with the kids’ dentist and doesn’t even tell me!” [LIE]
Me: “That’s not true, but we’re not talking about the dentist, we’re talking about the doctor. All I want to do is make sure you’re clear that you can’t change my insurance.”
THE DEVIL: “I’m entitled to make any changes I want [LIE]; you’re just beating a dead horse.”
Lisa: “Do you want to keep the doctor PEDIATRICIAN 2?”
Me: “Yeah, that’s never been a problem with me. My problem is that it didn’t check with me first.”
THE DEVIL: “I have court documents saying that I have 55% custody and he only has 45% [LIE] so I have more than half legal custody and I can make decisions. [LIE]” [We have 50/50 shared legal custody; we do not have a court order giving it the right to make changes to my medical plan.]
Me: “I’m not talking about you making decisions.”
Lisa (to THE DEVIL): “You need to produce a court order; you can’t just change the doctor on Token Male’s medical plan without his permission.”
THE DEVIL: “Well I have court documents.” [LIE]
Lisa: “That’s great, why don’t you get those court documents together and fax them to me right away.”
THE DEVIL: “I don’t know where it’s at. I don’t even have an attorney anymore; I pretty much let her go.”
Lisa: “I’m sorry DEVIL, you’re going to have to provide that document to us right away, and as soon as you do we can make that change for you.”
THE DEVIL (snottily, to me): “Why don’t you just have your paralegal wife do it?”
Lisa: “We’re not asking Token Male to provide the paperwork: we’re asking you.”
Lisa had to repeat this three times when THE DEVIL brought up the non-existent court order.
THE DEVIL (dismissively): “Well, I’ve got to get back to work; I have someone at my desk.” And then angrily at me, “And another thing, I don’t appreciate you calling me and harassing me at work about changing their stupid doctor.”
Lisa: “He didn’t call you: I called you because of the change. Just get those court documents to me; put my name on the fax. It’ll take about a month to process once we get it, but until you get that to me I can’t have you making any changes.”
We ended the call.
that it’s very obvious that you have your kids’ best interests in mind. You handled that very well: that’s not typical. Usually other people just fight and yell and hang up on each other.” I said that I’m used to dealing with THE DEVIL. She suggested that I prepare and fax a letter to MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER outlining what happened and letting them know that THE DEVIL has no right to make any changes to my medical plan so there’s no confusion and to avoid any possibility of this happening again (which I faxed on
Token Male,
I want to apologize for changing the children's primary care doctor without your consent. I in no way intended any harm and in no way even for once thought this would be an issue for you.
I did not realize you had a preference as our children have seen all the SRMC doctors at one point or another.
Unfortunately, as stated in our 3 way conversation with MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER, I cannot undo the phone call which I made. All I can do is agree that from this point forward, I will make no changes or appointments without discussing it with you beforehand, with this said, it needs to go both ways. On at least a dozen occasions you have taken both children to dental appointments which I had no prior knowledge of, even after my request to please be informed. [See Kids’ Dental Appointments narrative.]
Again, the past is the past, all we can do going forth is agree to advise one another of any appointments and or changes to policies.
Hopefully this sounds fair.
Again I do apologize.
I did not respond. But THE DEVIL just doesn’t get it. I didn’t object to it changing the kids’ pediatrician; I objected to it deceitfully changing MY health plan when it does not have the authority to do so!
I don’t understand why THE DEVIL can’t just admit when it’s done something wrong and apologize without pointing fingers. But not only did it pull this ridiculous stunt, it then accused again that “On at least a dozen occasions you have taken both children to dental appointments which I had no prior knowledge of, even after my request to please be informed.” This is not true and I am tired of its false accusations…this one in particular! Does it seriously not realize yet that I document, document, document to protect myself against its lies? See Kids’ Dental
Appointments narrative.
Not only does it owe me an apology for changing the children’s doctor without discussing it with me first, it also owes me one for the deceptive manner in which it did it and for its continued lies about me not telling it about the kids’ dental appointments.
And it’s right: it “cannot undo the phone call” that it made…or the lie that it told or its derogatory remarks about me. But I don’t believe for a minute that it’s sorry for doing any of
these things (otherwise it wouldn’t do them). No, it’s just sorry that it got caught.
PROVIDER:
Token Male,
I just spoke to Lamar at MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER, he is sending two sets of Insurance cards to your address, because you are the subscriber and your address is on the card.
One of the sets of insurance cards are [sic] intended for me to carry and I would appreciate if you would please notify me and give them to me when they come in.
I will also be faxing the requested court document to Lamar to process I n their system.
Lamar shared with me that you were contacted by phone on Wednesday of my proposed request to have the children's primary care doctor changed and he said that you approved the change on Wednesday with Saul which you did not share. Therefore I am very confused about your "intent" of this 3 way call this morning, especially when we could have resolved it without involving MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER?
My Response:
Devil,
I’ll give you the children’s MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER ID cards once I receive them.
Concerning our court orders: please either give me a photocopy of the particular page or let
me know which document the language giving each of us the right to change our children’s physicians without the knowledge or consent of the other is written in. I am convinced that it doesn’t exist because I would never have approved the inclusion of such language had it ever
been suggested because as co-parents neither of us should have that right or ability.
And to answer your question: I “did not share” with you that I’d “approved the change on Wednesday with Saul” because I didn’t. I’ve never spoken to Saul at MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER, nor did I approve this change on 7/16. What would be my motive for lying about something like that and escalating it with a three-way phone call? According to Lisa, the woman we spoke with Friday, there’s nothing in their record of conversation to indicate that MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER had my approval. So either Lamar lied to you or Saul made up a conversation that didn’t happen to cover his butt.
Here’s what happened: MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER called me on July 16 on my cell phone three times (8:21 a.m., 8:26 a.m., and 9.08 a.m.) and once on my house phone (9:09 a.m.).
I’d gotten off graves Tuesday morning and hadn’t slept in 28 hours when I went to bed Tuesday night, so I was still asleep when MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER called Wednesday morning and I didn’t get any of their calls. I took the kids to
our call. That was the intent of Friday’s 3-way call: to clarify why you’d changed the kids’ doctor.
I wouldn’t have objected to this change, but I’m concerned and upset about the underhanded way that you did this: that you chose to not only do it without my knowledge or consent, but
that you then lied to MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER by telling them that you had my consent. It’s in their record of conversation with you that you told them that not only did you have my consent but that I was difficult to deal with.
Lisa apologized profusely and expressed concern that MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER didn’t follow procedures. She assured me that this would not happen again, and she urged me to
register a complaint with MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER, which I will do in the next day or so.
But you knew that what you were doing was wrong even as you were doing it. The big difference between you and me is that I go out of my way to do the right thing for the sake of our children because it’s the right thing to do and will ultimately benefit them, whereas you have no problem doing whatever the hell you want to do and only apologize when you get caught. You are not a trustworthy co-parent, and it troubles me that I cannot trust the mother of my children.
Thursday,
On
I first learned of this on 7/18 when I returned a 7/16 voice message from Saul. I spoke to Lisa S. who patched THE DEVIL in for a three-way conference call. It quickly became evident that
THE DEVIL lied to and pressured Saul at MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER to make this
unauthorized change. THE DEVIL has since written: “I want to apologize for changing the children’s primary care doctor without your consent… Unfortunately, as stated in our 3 way conversation with MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER, I cannot undo the phone call which I made. All I can do is agree that from this point forward, I will make no changes…without discussing it with you beforehand.”
Regardless, I approved this change after-the-fact on 7/18; however, I have been advised to send this fax to you so that it is perfectly clear that THE DEVIL does NOT have the right to make changes to my medical plan. It has never had that right and I don’t understand how this was allowed to happen and why I should have to protect myself and my family by instructing you not to break your own rules.
Furthermore, on 7/18, THE DEVIL sent me an email stating, “I will also be faxing the requested court document to Lamar to process in their system.* Lamar shared with me that you were
contacted by phone on Wednesday [7/16] of my proposed request to have the children’s primary care doctor changed and he said that you approved the change on Wednesday with Saul… Therefore I am very confused about your “intent” of this 3 way call this morning…”
First: Lamar’s claim that I approved THE DEVIL’s request with Saul on 7/16 is completely false, and I’m not sure if this is THE DEVIL’s lie, Lamar’s lie or Saul’s. Second: I am very concerned that MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER continues to discuss my medical plan with THE DEVIL. This is a clear violation of my and my family’s privacy. I am, therefore, instructing MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER to discontinue all communication with THE DEVIL concerning my
medical plan and any dependents covered under my plan (to include me and my wife, children and stepchildren): All future requests and inquiries received by MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER from THE DEVIL will be redirected to me.
I would appreciate a written response to this notification. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Token Male
*Please notify me immediately if and when THE DEVIL faxes a court order to MY HEALTHCARE PROVIDER stipulating that it has the right to make changes to my medical plan without my authorization. Such a document does not exist and I will pursue this matter separately with it through the Court should it choose to continue its deception by fabricating a court order.
Pay Date Change!!! (May-Aug '08)
MY EMPLOYER notified ALL employees that effective mid-June payroll dates would be converted from semi-monthly (1st and 15th) to bi-weekly (every other Friday). Our 6/1 pay date would remain the same, but our next pay date would be 6/20 instead of 6/15. THE DEVIL was also notified of this change.
To keep my child support on track, MY EMPLOYER explained that they would deduct the entire $800 from my 6/1 check and reimburse me the difference the following week (6/13), and that they would issue THE DEVIL a single $800 check on 6/1 instead of two $400 checks on 6/1 and 6/15. THE DEVIL would then receive $369.23 every other Friday beginning 7/4:
- 6/1 Pay Date/Child Support $800.00
- 6/20 Pay Date; $0
- 7/4 Pay Date/Child Support $369.23
- 7/18 Pay Date/Child Support $369.23
- 7/25 Pay Date/Child Support $369.23
- 8/1 Pay Date/Child Support $369.23
- 8/15 Pay Date/Child Support $369.23
- 8/29 Pay Date/Child Support $369.23
Tuesday, 7/22 – THE DEVIL’s Reaction
THE DEVIL's text:
I would appreciate if you will contact the MY EMPLOYER payroll dept and find out why they shorted my 400 child support pmt this month without my knowledge and remind them that they are supposed [to] issue 2 checks, twice a month for 400, a total of 800 each month. I would like to know the outcome ASAP as I have bills to pay, Thanks
I checked with MY HR
TOKEN - I just wanted to give you a heads up that our Corporate Payroll Department is receiving calls from THE DEVIL concerning the impact our conversion from SM to BW has had on its support payments.
Just in summary, your court order states that at the time of your divorce, it was to receive $800 per month, to be paid in conjunction with your pay schedule. While you were semi-monthly, THE DEVIL received two payments of $400.00 each month. With the conversion to BW, the payout is now calculated $800 x 12 months divided by 26 pay periods, or $369.23 per pay period. Since June had only one pay period, MY EMPLOYER gave THE DEVIL the full amount in one payment. Going forward, it will be receiving two payments per month, except for August, in which it will receive three payments.
THE DEVIL is demanding that MY EMPLOYER put its pay schedule back to semi-monthly. However, the court order states that MY EMPLOYER is not obligated to modify its pay schedule to accommodate the recipient. THE DEVIL has been very unpleasant to payroll staff, telling them that it can't buy gas or feed its children. It is also threatening to take you back to court. The Payroll Supervisor has instructed her staff not to engage in further conversations with THE DEVIL.
I can empathize with your situation, but this is something that will need to be resolved between you and THE DEVIL. Let me know if I can help in some way.
…..Actually, THE DEVIL received THREE checks in July ($1,107.69 vs. $800) and THREE
checks in August ($1,107.69 vs. $800). That’s a pretty sweet deal…for THE DEVIL! It made no difference to me, though: I’m obligated to pay $9,600 a year and this change comes out to $9,599.98. But I’m charged a $1 processing fee for every transaction, which comes to an additional $26 a year out of my pocket, so I’m not overly concerned about THE DEVIL’s 2-cent deficiet!
…..Also, keep in mind that the difference in its semi-monthly payments and bi-weekly payments is, at most, only $61.54 a month…and THE DEVIL has a housekeeper and it's about to leave with the kids on a 2-week out-of-state vacation! If $61.54 puts it at the "make or break" point, then maybe it needs to clean its own damn house!
I didn’t respond to THE DEVIL’s earlier text, nor did I tell it that I knew about its calls. But here is my UNSENT letter:
DEVIL:
This responds to your 8/4 email in which you threatened: “I was paid $738.46 in child support by MY EMPLOYER in July. I was shorted $61.54. Our court agreement is that you pay me $800 per month, not $738.46 every 2 weeks. I need you to take care of this ASAP. If you are not going to have your employer pay the court agreed amount of $800, I am going to have to file something with the State.”
Your demand comes despite your 7/22 phone call to MY EMPLOYER’s Corporate Payroll
Department, which resulted in this excerpted email to me from MY EMPLOYER’s human resources department: “…our Corporate Payroll Department is receiving calls from THE DEVIL … [it] is demanding that MY EMPLOYER put its pay schedule back to semi-monthly. However, the court order states that MY EMPLOYER is not obligated to modify its pay schedule to accommodate the recipient. THE DEVIL has been very unpleasant to payroll staff, telling them that it can't buy gas or feed its children. IT is also threatening to take you back to court. The Payroll Supervisor has instructed her staff not to engage in further conversations with THE DEVIL.”
Instead of leaving such a path of destruction, why not just stop for a moment and read the Order/ Notice to Withhold Income for Child Support filed
[MY EMPLOYER is] required by law to deduct these amounts from the employee’s income until further notice.
- $800 per month current child support
- $400 per month devil support
- For a total of $1,200.00 per month to be forwarded to payee below.
You do not have to vary your pay cycle to be in compliance with the support order. If your pay cycle does not match the ordered payment cycle, withhold one of the following amounts:
- $276.92 per weekly pay period.
- $553.84 per biweekly pay period (every two weeks).
- $600.00 per semimonthly pay period (twice a month).
- $1,200.00 per monthly pay period.
The amount ordered paid in devil support shall terminate at
These orders were amended effective
- $184.62 per weekly pay period.
- $369.23 per biweekly pay period (every two weeks).
- $400.00 per semimonthly pay period (twice a month)
- $800.00 per monthly pay period.
Through June 2008 you received $400 on the 1st and $400 on the 15th of every month for a total of $9,600 a year. Effective July 2008 you now receive $369.23 biweekly (every two weeks), as ordered, for a total of $9,600 a year. Pay dates for the remainder of the year are 8/15, 8/29, 9/12, 9/26, 10/10, 10/24, 11/7, 11/21, 12/5, and 12/19, which means you will actually receive $1,107.69 in the month of August.
Once again you have crossed the line,* this time by jeopardizing my continued ability to support my family. You have absolutely no business and no right to contact my employer directly; therefore, this is my FORMAL NOTICE to you that you will not directly contact my employer again at any time in the future. SHOULD YOU CONTACT MY EMPLOYER AT ANY TIME
In the future do your own damn research: my wife is not your paralegal. And stop threatening me before it bites you in the a##…because it will.
TOKEN MALE
*On 7/8 you contacted my healthcare provider and deceitfully changed my company-sponsored medical plan by lying about having obtained my authorization to do so. This preceded your abhorrent 7/18 histrionics directed at me and MY HEALTH CARE PROVIDER representative Lisa S. and was followed by your joke of an apology.
Monday,
Subject: CHILD SUPPORT
TOKEN,
I was paid $738.46 in child support by MY EMPLOYER in July. I was shorted $61.54. Our court agreement is that you pay me $800 per month, not $738.46 every 2 weeks. I need you to take care of this ASAP.
If you are not going to have your employer pay the court agreed amount of $800, I am going to have to file something with the State.
Thank you,
THE DEVIL
Thursday,
hadn’t received its check from my 8/1 payroll check yet. I spent 14 minutes and 59 seconds on the phone with it explaining that I had no control over any of that. It whined that it was going on vacation to
Tuesday,
MY HR
Friday,
$369.23 was deducted from my paycheck and sent to THE DEVIL today, which is taxable as income to me that it receives as tax-free income.
Amazingly, I never heard another word about any of this from THE DEVIL.
Perhaps it was slapped with a restraining order??? : )
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