Lice!!! (Nov '05-Jul '07)

Tuesday, 11/29/05. THE DEVIL sent me the following email, and then called me in a panic later that afternoon to inform me that OUR SON has lice…even though his pediatrician didn’t reach that conclusion. As described to me, THE DEVIL believed that it might have seen "lice eggs" in OUR SON’s hair this morning....even though it has no idea what "nits" look like.

From: 1st JOB [mailto:1stjob@1stemployer.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 29, 2005 1:17 PM
To: TOKEN MALESubject: OUR SON

TOKEN MALE,

I am taking OUR SON to the doctor today at 2:00pm to see if he has lice. If he does there is a good possibility OUR DAUGHTER has it and us as well. I will let you know. OUR DAUGHTER & OUR SON are still feeling under the weather so please keep them out of the cold and make sure they bundle up. I will be home at 7:00pm so you can drop them off.

THE DEVIL

According to THE DEVIL, the children’s pediatrician was "unable to definitively diagnose head lice"; however, THE DEVIL itself concluded that OUR SON did have lice and claims to have purchased $80 worth of supplies to rid him of this "infestation." THE DEVIL’s reaction is so typically histrionic that I’m not sure where to begin.

· THE DEVIL knows nothing about head lice and, once again, has failed to educate itself concerning the children’s “perceived” illness (see 3/29/05). Rather than consult with me, one of its minions, or the Internet for additional information, it panicked and scheduled a doctor’s appointment…right before it sent OUR SON off to daycare to possibly infest his classmates!

· Without even knowing if OUR SON actually had head lice, THE DEVIL assumed the worst case scenario: Not only does OUR SON have lice, but OUR DAUGHTER, THE DEVIL and I all have lice. Using its logic, one could then assume that I must have given it to everyone in my household and everyone I work with. And so on and so on...

· If OUR SON did, indeed, have head lice, the actual treatment costs less than $15 and household sprays might cost another $15 for a total of $30. THE DEVIL is either exaggerating when it says that it spent $80 on treatments or it went way overboard. If true, it likely purchased treatments for it and the children at a cost of $45, plus another $35 or so for cleaning products, etc.

· Something that should’ve cost no more than $30 max allegedly cost THE DEVIL about $95 ($15 co-pay for a doctor visit and $80 in treatments and cleaning products)…AND OUR SON didn't even have lice!

Within 1 minute of searching “head lice treatments” on the Web, I located an article at Harvard School of Public Health’s website (http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/headlice.html). As excerpted: “Treatment should be considered only when active lice or viable eggs are observed.”

If the children had been exposed to and/or been infested with head lice while in my care, THE DEVIL would’ve come unglued! Regardless, when it informed me of its diagnosis that OUR SON had head lice, I remained calm and unaccusatory.

Wednesday, 6/6/07

7:39 a.m.: Excerpt from THE DEVIL’s email in response to my 6/4 email concerning her refusal to reimburse me for the children's dental appointment: "Also, now that I think about it. Remember the lice scare??? I spend [sic] $120.00* for over the counter treatments for both children? which was part of a medical condition."

*On 11/25/05, THE DEVIL claimed to have spent $15 for OUR SON's doctor's visit co-pay and $80 in supplies, which totals $95...and now it claims to have spent $120?! Okay...

7:28 p.m.: Excerpt from THE DEVIL's third nasty email in follow up to my 6/4 email (my bolding and highlighting added): "Are you going to give me $60.00 for the Dr visits and Nix treatments for both children when they had lice???? If your [sic] a father, leave a check for the other 'shared"expenses ...'"

Sunday, 6/17/07

1:28 a.m.: Excerpt from my email to THE DEVIL in response to her 6/4, 6/5 and 6/6 emails to me and her attorney (excerpts from its original emails are in violet; mine are in blue):

"Remember the lice scare??? I spend [sic] $120.00 for over the counter treatments for both children? [W]hich was part of a medical condition.
Are you going to give me $60.00 for the Dr visits and Nix treatments for both children when they had lice????"

The State of California defines “uninsured healthcare expenses” as health insurance deductibles, co-payments and reasonable health-related procedures not covered by health insurance. It does not include over-the-counter medications or household cleaning products (otherwise I’d have a whole slew of receipts for you). I will reimburse you for half the children’s doctor visit co-pays and any prescription medication co-pays upon proof of your imbursement…and once I’ve received your reimbursement to me for half of my out-of-pocket 2006 uninsured healthcare expenses, of which your outstanding share is $95 (seven doctor visit co-pays at $15 each, two eye exams at $10, and five prescription co-pays totaling $65, for a grand total of $190). However, I will not reimburse you for household cleaning products.

Tuesday, 7/3/07

7:58 a.m.: Following is an excerpt from THE DEVIL's lie-filled rant to its attorney in follow up to our conversation this morning:

I ALSO NEVER HAD HIM PAY ME $100 1/2 HALF OF THE LICE TREATMENT LAST YEAR.

My Response:

Again, as I explained in my 6/16/07 email, the State of California defines “uninsured healthcare expenses” as health insurance deductibles, co-payments and reasonable health-related procedures not covered by health insurance. It does not include over-the-counter medications or household cleaning products (otherwise I’d have a whole slew of receipts for you). I will reimburse you for half the children’s doctor visit co-pays and any prescription medication co-pays upon proof of your imbursement…and once I’ve received your reimbursement to me for half of my out-of-pocket 2006 uninsured healthcare expenses, of which your outstanding share is $95 (seven doctor visit co-pays at $15 each, two eye exams at $10, and five prescription co-pays totaling $65, for a grand total of $190). However, I will not reimburse you for household cleaning products. Again, please stop trying to collect money that is not owed to you.

I'm assuming THE DEVIL's attorney told it to knock it off, because I haven't heard a peep out of it about this issue in the last 3-1/2 years.