Hoof and Mouth Disease!!! (3/29/05)

THE DEVIL called to tell me that OUR DAUGHTER had a moderate fever and it thought that she might have “hand, foot and mouth disease”* as “one of the neighborhood children had recently been diagnosed” with this illness.

I asked if it knew anything about this disease or if it had taken OUR DAUGHTER to the doctor. It said that it didn’t know anything other than that you get a high fever and blisters inside your mouth and on the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet, and it hadn’t taken OUR DAUGHTER to the doctor. I asked it if OUR DAUGHTER exhibited any of these symptoms, other than that she was running a fever. THE DEVIL said no. So even though it was obviously "distraught" and overly concerned that OUR DAUGHTER might have this disease, it hadn’t taken any steps to learn more about it, nor had it consulted with a medical professional about the possibility that OUR DAUGHTER might have been exposed to it.

I told THE DEVIL that I had no problem taking the next day off from work. THE DEVIL expected that I would drive to OUR TOWN after work tonight (which is 35 miles past ITS TOWN), return to ITS TOWN tomorrow morning (Wednesday) to pick the children up from its house, then drive back to OUR TOWN that morning, only to return to ITS TOWN Wednesday evening to bring the children to its house, then drive back to OUR TOWN that evening. I told it that I’d pick the children up from its house on my way home from work Tuesday evening, keep them at my home all day Wednesday, and bring them to its house in ITS TOWN Thursday morning on my way to work. It was initially taken aback and was unsure whether it would agree to my suggestion. It eventually agreed, and decided that it would be better for OUR SON to remain with it in ITS TOWN as – according to it – “hand, foot and mouth disease is highly contagious.”

*At my first opportunity, I researched this disease on the Internet and discovered that hoof and mouth disease is a viral infection that afflicts animals with cloven hooves (cattle, pigs, sheep). Onset in animals is characterized by fever, followed by blisters inside the mouth and on the feet. Humans are not susceptible to hoof and mouth, but can carry and transmit the disease without even realizing it.